Thursday, October 18, 2012

Trich up my sleeve...

This will prove to be the most invasive thing I have ever written. For a woman who is used to walking around with her heart on her sleeve, I never thought those words could ring truth as they echoed from my throat. Yet, here they are, and here I am, and here we go!

I contracted trich seven months ago. Trichomoniasis is a sexually transmitted infection and is supposed to go away with use of a particular anti-biotic. After several treatments and absolute abstinence I was unable to be free from these tiny little parasites. I found through research that there was a resistant strand and there was a second antibiotic that was meant to rid this resistant strand. Unfortunately, it still did not go away.

I have practiced abstinence almost absolutely for all of these seven months, having been penetrated only twice. For such a sexual individual, it has been very troublesome. It has been very empowering as well.

As a woman who had been pregnant three times while on a birth control, I had an IUD inserted to prevent further pregnancy. It has been non troublesome for a few years now.

The Center for Disease Control has become involved as of almost two months ago. They have yet to come to my doctor and I with a solution. I did a lot of research. There is a high correlation between infection and the IUD especially BV and Trich. So, this morning I had my IUD removed.

Any empathic or intellectual being can imagine the layers of emotional confrontation on my table right now. I am reassessing everything. I am figuring out where this leaves me. I am a highly sexual being who has been pregnant three times while on birth control!

Furthermore, I am not sure if my theory will prove true. The IUD may not be the problem. I also have to face the fact that I have to take yet another round of antibiotics that had me doubling over garbage cans, and waiting for it to be out of my system. I am listening. Power speak of the Universe reaches me clearly. Daily stronger.

I hope this is the end. I hope that my situation has really helped another woman avoid this same space.

I love you all. Thank you for your support.

RA~in.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Tao Teh Ching


Raised a Baptist minister’s daughter, I was spoon fed the philosophies of Christianity from the tender age of four. I was a strong student of the Bible and read the entire Bible several times, memorizing large portions. We were trained to tear apart the text, often researching in depth the backgrounds of Hebrew and Latin in which the King James Version of the Bible was translated from.

I was applauded for my level of skill in memorization and interpretation and was even offered trophies along the way to commemorate the accomplishments I had made. But around seventeen my soul began to feel unrest. I realized there were many other avenues I had never considered. I left home in search of my own beliefs. I experimented, studied, and listened to the spiritual voice of many others in order to find what I myself truly believed.

I was introduced to Taoism around the age of nineteen. Having moved far from my childhood home, I felt free to find the nature of my own soul’s beliefs. I was engaged fully by the concepts of Taoism, and have had a copy of the Tao Teh Ching among my most sacred books for over a decade now.

The word Tao literally means, “The Way”.  It is a path of harmonic peace within nature. It requires of its patrons many ideals that would include Simplicity, Gentleness, and Relativity (p. 226 Molloy).

The Tao must not be confused with God. It is all things and all things are manifestations of it; however, it is not one particular thing and it certainly has no stated personality that would align with a type of god or God Himself.

One of the most fundamental principles of Taoism is the concept of Wu Wei. Wu Wei is also my favorite element and has aided in augmenting my spiritual nature to an inherent level of existence. Its power is quite supernatural when fully grasped and fully practiced. Wu Wei is the effortlessness required in a simplistic existence desired by a Taoist. Wu Wei might be described as the flowing of water. One would be benefited if one became as water. Water flows freely along its natural course. It does not stop to argue with rocks in its path; it simply continues to flow around obstacles. Water is not known to ponder the existence of the fallen log on its course; it simply continues to flow in its natural progression.

Yoga, another important element of Taoism, to us is an exercise or series of exercises and breathing techniques. To a Taoist, yoga is so much more. It is a Sanskrit word that embraces even dietary needs, meditation, along with breathing and exercises to become the healthiest physical version of one-self. Part of yoga would include finding a state of internal alchemy. “It aims at transforming and spiritualizing the life force (qi, ch’i) of the practitioner (p.226 Molloy).”

Taoism like Confucianism was not seen as an organized religion when it was developed. It is simply a “way” of thought; a “way” of existence. The Tao is governed by such thought processes as simplicity, gentleness, relativity, and the element of yin-yang.

Yin-yang is the fundamental balance of duality. It is not seen as good and evil. One element is not superior over the other. The two elements are believed to balance one another, harmonize together, and therefore be a whole. Much of yin and yang would be represented as dark and light, male and female, cold and hot, truth and illusion, etc. (p. 217 Molloy).

The concept of Taoism like Confucianism may be implemented into many religious views. On a personal level, I feel this is healthy to glean from multiple sources the thread of truth that source represents and then add it to the wealth of knowledge our individual soul seeks to attain.

“The five colours blind the eye. The five tones deafen the ear. The five flavours cloy the palate. Racing and hunting madden the mind. Rare goods tempt men to do wrong. Therefore, the Sage takes care of the belly, not the eye. He prefers what is within to what is without (Tao Teh Ching 12).”

A Taoist not only seeks harmony with nature but also ardently seeks to see patterns apparent in Nature so that one might learn. “Some of the patterns were quite easy to discern…others were more subtle, like the motion of waves and the ripple of mountain ranges (p. 216 Molloy)…”

A Taoist operates inside a state of center calm, while endeavoring at all times to exist within the moment. A Taoist seeks to float like water down the river of life, honoring the patterns found in the natural world that surrounds us. A Taoist seeks to not harm other beings and honors the harmonic flow of the natural world.

“It lies in the nature of the Grand Virtue to follow the Tao and the Tao alone. Now what is the Tao? It is Something elusive and evasive. Evasive and elusive! And yet It contains within Itself a Form. Elusive and evasive! And yet It contains within Itself a Substance. Shadowy and dim! And yet It contains within Itself a Core of Vitality. The Core of Vitality is very real, it contains within Itself an unfailing Sincerity. Throughout the ages Its Name has been preserved in order to recall the Beginning of all things. How do I know the ways of all things at the Beginning? By what is within me (Tao Teh Ching 21)”.

Therefore, I proceed forward along my own spiritual path, seeking knowledge, gaining wisdom and holding on only to those things which resonate as truth within me. This is the way of the Tao.

 

 

On Confucianism


The Master said, “At fifteen, I had my mind bent on learning. At thirty, I stood firm. At forty, I had no doubts. At fifty, I knew the decrees of Heaven. At sixty, my ear was an obedient organ for the reception of truth. At seventy, I could follow what my heart desired, without transgressing what was right (from the Confucian Analects).”

It would not be appropriate to see Confucianism as a religion. It is a school of thought: a school in which the Master himself (Confucius) did not see himself as a creator of original thought but a vessel of the Universe. His words have echoed through time and influenced many great minds.

Confucius wished to “create a harmonious society (p. 236 Molloy).” He “believed that each human being is capable of being good, refined, and even great (p. 236 Molloy)…” His “idea of a perfect society was one in which every member of society would be cared for and protected, and no one would feel abandoned (p. 237 Molloy).”

Born to a poor family, Confucius was a shy child and was not remarkable in means of physical beauty or athletic achievement. In a world where battle was at the forefront of a male universe, Confucius had nothing significant to offer. However, he took to knowledge like a fish to water, and his mother nurtured this within him until her untimely death.

Confucianism can be analyzed in two main segments. We must study the Five Great Virtues and the Five Great Relationships to truly understand the Confucian school of thought. The Five Great Virtues are Ren (Empathy), Li (Appropriate behavior), Shu (Reciprocity), Xiao (Filial Piety or ancestral devotion), Wen (Culture or love of music, art, poetry). I feel most aligned to the concept of Shu. We are certainly well versed in our culture to the thought process of the Golden Rule which would be of a similar nature.

Shu represents not only receiving what is needed but also giving what you can to aid another human being. In a society that is very wrapped up in taking what we need to survive and climb our corporate ladder of choice, the ideal of reciprocity speaks loudly to me. I find its voice to be soothing and honorable. If all would honestly give as much as they proceed to take, what a wonder filled world this could truly be.

The other major segmentation of Confucianism comes in the representation of the Five Great Relationships. They are Father, Son; Older brother, Younger brother; Husband, Wife; Elder, Younger; Ruler, Subject.

I think the relationship that most intrigues me in the Five Great Relationships would be the Husband to Wife. Primarily we have lost the element of family in this country. A husband and wife must strike and imperative balance in order to raise a successful family unit. A husband is seen as being the leader, the strength, the money maker, the decision maker. The wife is seen as running the household, the one who will nurture and care for the husband, children and household. While some may view that as a very fifties view from our culture’s perspective, I think it can be done in such a way as to create family harmony.

If each relationship category operated within its well versed territory as Confucius states should be done there would be a beautiful harmonic flow in the society as it would naturally develop in this method of operation.

We have in the Western culture development, sought individual liberty which has positives and negatives as any element would. On the negative aspect, I see that striking out in a direction of betterment of self, only invited stepping on others in the path to your own personal achievement.

            The grand thread throughout Confucianism would be to follow the ideals of the five virtues and the five relationships in order to reach a state where one has become a superior person (junzi). “The Master said, a gentleman takes as much trouble to discover what is right as lesser men take to discover what will pay (from the Analects, p. 245 Molloy).”

            As in Taoism, one would strive to be as perfect in deed as one would also strive to be perfect in thought. Life was about learning. Life was striving to exist in a natural state of harmony. “A gentleman covets the reputation of being slow in word but prompt in deed (p. 245 Molloy).”

            Another component of Confucianism that I greatly enjoyed was its magnetism to the arts. Wen is a love of culture: music, art, and poetry. A soul being expressed freely to me is beautiful. “Confucianism has been a great patron of the Chinese arts (p. 251 Molloy).

            Basically, a conclusive thought regarding Confucianism would be that if one were to adequately follow the structured thoughts of the Master, one would become a person of honor, a person of good deed, a person who loved the arts, a person who was dedicated to knowledge and finding harmony within one’s society.

            Confucianism marries well to almost any religion because it is a school of thought not a religious persuasion. It holds high concepts of intelligence, valor, strength of mind, and actions that portray one in honorable societal light. There are no gods to worship. There are no rites of passage. There are no holy days or traditions, only a school of thought built on strong logic meant to be followed with a perfectionist’s tenacity to allow one to rise above the average of the societal stance and become the best of oneself.

            Because it is a school of thought, I see Confucianism lasting for many ages to come, able to supplement any people, with any belief, in any time period. It is a strong foundation for any human being committed to excellence of thought, and excellence of deed.