Epistemology

"We were naked and drinking coffee making plans to change the world while the world was changing us." Dave Matthews.

This semester has already been a tidal wave of new thought and I am only at the beginning of the third week. Along with the combined pressure of work-related obstacles, financial trials, and relationship dilemmas, this last month has offered much pressure toward the Diamond forging nature of this enchanted life.

I have been meditating and ruminating much on the concepts of perception, social awareness and relative truth. My mind has been dabbling with quantum physics (at an extremely novice level) and the acceptance of lessons I have been wrestling with for years.

My life is brilliantly beautiful and I have so much to be thankful for. I can feel a new chapter falling in place before me and expect this brilliant Harvest (Full) Moon to bring beautiful new opportunities and new challenges still.

I have five classes this semester. Cognitive Psychology, Social Psychology, Women's Mental Health, Spanish I, and an Honors Seminar. It always intrigues me how without knowing enough details to engage this level of awareness, the Divine has led me to choose courses that perfectly harmonize with all I am supposed to be learning at this time. My Spanish Profesora also has a degree in Clinical Psychology and is a poetess. I knew neither of these details about her when I chose the class. The art that surrounds my natural existence astounds me daily. Dr. Salnaitis, my Professor for Cognitive introduced a couple new terms to me in a conversation we had after I shared with her two poems I wrote during her class (relative to the material). Personal epistemology. Social Constructivism.

Here are relative definitions before I continue.

Epistemology: Concerning the origin and methods of human knowledge.

Personal Epistemology: The study of how the individual develops a conception of knowledge and how they use that knowledge to understand the world.

Social Constructivism: a sociological theory of knowledge that applies the general philosophical constructivism into social settings, wherein groups construct knowledge for one another, collaboratively creating a small culture of shared artifcats with shared meanings.

Social Constructionism: Theoretical viewpoint that humans do not discover reality directly; rather they construct meanings for events in the environment based on their own prior experiences and beliefs.

Schema: (Cognitive) general knowledge or framework about a particular topic; schema then processes and organizes new information received on that topic

So here I write a couple poems in my Cognitive class. I feel compelled to share them with the Professor. In turn, Dr. Salnaitis gets chills as I read the poetry to her and asks me to email them to her. We engage in conversation and she suggests I look into the new terminology. I set up an appointment to include her in the process of deciding which degree to seek out next. I go home to embrace the new knowledge these terms have to offer. I go to the University of Colorado at Boulder's website to look over the degrees I have interest in again so I am prepared to discuss my perceived options. While reading the breakdown of the PhD in Philosophy they offer, I see the word epistemology which I would have not understood had Dr. Salnaitis and I not had that discussion. I do research, take notes and sit down to read my current chapter for Women's Mental Health. Within the reading are the terms, epistemology and social constructivism. Coincidence? I think not!

My life is a beautiful matrix lined with poetry and obstacles. I am excited for this meeting as I know it will illuminate even more knowledge I need to move forward and make the correct decision.

As I have been going about my day I have had many epiphanies already. After a month of being estranged from my lover as we worked out our recent relationship hurdle, I feel healed and satisfied just laying next to him again. I realized as I lay against him that some people say more just by skin contact than others do with thousands of words. I realized that I waste a lot of energy trying to convince people to see me. Some people are never going to get me. The beauty is SO MANY DO!

My eyes welled with tears as I realized that I am loved by so many...so let the haters hate! I like harmony. I desire peace. I have always liked the end result of working out details between parties. However, due to personal epistemologies and relevant perception of the individual world around each of us, there will be times where harmony cannot be reached.

As I lay in bed next to the man who speaks with his skin, I was engaged by the program he had on (he fell asleep). In the program "Weeds", one of the main characters is Jewish and is teaching a class of young Jewish boys. Further into the program a psychiatrist is engaging another of the main characters in session with an extension of Jewish principle. He is talking about how the Divine places us equidistant from opposite polar ends (in other words dark vs. light; right vs. wrong; lust vs. love). The Divine then allows us to choose our path. In a very yin and yang sense of this discussion we are centered between dark and light at all times. This struck a very deep chord with me.

In my Honors Seminar, taught by Dr. Cassill we are studying the sociology of ants, the inequality of krill and the Haves and Have Nots of Human Society. I am engaged fully as my personal epistemology writes this brilliant story for me. I am in love with my life!

I give all of myself everyday and walk closer always to my highest self (the journey is long and worth it) and I am grateful daily to each and every one of you who have given me the puzzle pieces I need to put this beautiful portrait of a life together.

"I've been working and working but I still have so terribly far to go." Nina Simone