This Salt Life

Salt on my wounds
This salt life
Exit my mouth
Guess I better think twice
Three times the charm
I'm the lucky one tonight
Friend in the world
Want to see if I'm all right
Brilliant conversation
Does not require engraved words
Intelligent speak
Does not mean you'll be heard
Breathe in deep the salt sea air
Just remembering you are always there
Spoken in a rhythm
Hope you like my rhyme
But what really matters is our salty time
Finding a reason to be driven every day
And I mostly live up to all that I say
Integrity in side of me
This honest beating breast
And here among the salt sea break
I admit I like you best
Open and flowing
Like the incoming tide
And friendships like this
Only get better with time
Signs on my journey
Like these puzzle pieces find
So many of our encounters
Have completely blown my mind
Winding down for sleeping
These words had to be typed
And I pray upon my pillow
The salt will not be from my eyes
Sizing me up slowly
Inside your complicated mind
And I cannot wait to see
What thoughts we will design
Grinding hard the working
I felt so old today
But tomorrow I will remember
The salt along the way
Almost time for season
New waves of people stay
Driven along the coast line
For the Dawning of the day

Wanted

I want to kiss you
Until you orgasm in my mouth
Till your heart beats in perfect time
With the rhythm of the Universe
I want to hold you until there is no sound left
Only the heat of my breath against your chest
Cleft and rise until we have left
All former understanding of consciousness
You see I left sex
Because she did not complete me
I am waiting for true love
As he writes letters to beseech me
I want to know you like the sound of my name
Like the taste of my favorite dish
Or the bliss of my first flame
I want to speak without saying a word
I want to be heard in the air around the world
I want to be your girl in a way that completely unfurls
All the love we have ever known before

Echo

Echoes
I just
Stepped into
The lair of the fox
She said
Echoes
I just
Realized what
Everyone had already said
Echoes
We must
Embrace both sides of the echo instead
Echoes
Darkness
Is just an echo of the light
Echoing depth
Darkness is what we cannot see
Until the light is shed
Echoes
We must
Decide the sonar perception of breadth
Echoes
You are
An echo
Of me
Echoing you
Remembering what it was like
At the origin
Of sound

Are We Hungry?

Christi Johnson

November 27, 2012

Are We Hungry?

Word Count: 551

 

                Since the beginning of culture, society has engaged in power plays to advance. So often the power of the leader is obvious whereas the power of the people becomes a muted notation. “Attendance at munera subjected emperors to pressure from the people (Emperors and Gladiators, Thomas Wiedemann)…” This leads me to ask, “What are we hungry for?” Is it not a statement of what society desires to see a rapid rise in the attendance of Reality Television Shows? What need within our society does this satiate?

                The value placed on the Roman Arenas and the Hunger Games is the same as I see it. Presented clearly is the element of control, the need for absolute power. However, an Emperor is only as strong as the people’s acceptance of him. The Roman people had a hunger a good emperor was obligated to fulfill. “An emperor…might be criticized either for being too interested in the games, or not interested enough (Emperors and Gladiators, Thomas Wiedmann)…”

                Throughout history a need to conquer, to feel superior has presented itself over centuries of different culture, different time. I think the emotions of superiority need to be approached steadfastly. It is in this pompous ego driven vision that makes it allowable to watch “lesser” mortals die. In the beginning of the Hunger Games, we see the dichotomy presented between those in the Capitol and those in the outlying districts. The system derived for the games is what made those in the Capitol feel justified in their murderous behavior. You can directly relate this mentality to the emotions of the Romans toward the slaves that fought in the Arena.

                Identity and social class play a large role in society in general. The view we have of our particular class or societal stance can be seen to allow room for abuse of someone “lesser” than you. Justification of one’s behavior becomes easier when some feel entitled to be above and beyond those in lesser classes or certain societal groupings. Katniss exhibits a masterful level of skill in handling the mentality of those monitoring and being entertained by the games. Ultimately, it is through this level of understanding that she was able to exit alive.

                Our Western culture especially has become enthralled with death and violence in video games, reality shows and other digital media. I feel that though this is not new in society by any stretch of the imagination, I do feel the ease of digital access has made it too readily available. I feel also that in our working family lives, younger children have access to such media. I believe this to have a very desensitizing effect on our youth in regards to death and violence.

                “…The ritual performance in the arena was a means of Imperial control (Blood in the Arena, Allison Futrell)…” In the Hunger Games, the Capitol retained control on the people by subjugating them to the games including their names being added to the pot for things such as need of grain. “…it’s hard not to resent those who don’t have to sign up for tesserae (Hunger Games, p. 13).” Katniss has been entered twenty times by the age of sixteen and Gale forty two times by the age of eighteen. Again, by the construct of those in power, those who are “lesser” are being punished for their lack of status in life.

                The beauty of the Hunger Games is that Katniss gains the upper hand in the end. She has the berries and is intending for both of them to eat. Although Peta does not understand at first, he trusts her. The Game-makers cannot allow both survivors to die. This was a dangerous move on Katniss’ part but she played her precarious ace and won. “How often have I seen them ringed around our kitchen table, and I thought, ‘Why don’t they leave? Why do they stay to watch?’ And now I know. It’s because you have no choice (Hunger Games, p. 348).”

The Soap Box Cafe: An Ethics Project.

 

 

 

The Soap Box

Christi Johnson

Independent Business Study

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The name of my business is to be the Soap Box. It will be a health centered café and artistic hot spot. I will focus on local art, music, poetry and other artisans such as jewelry makers. Works of art will be available for sale with the artist getting the majority of the sale price and myself getting a percentage for commission. I will be the owner and operator. I will need a kitchen manager, a general manager, and myself to manage the business. I will need several general level staff members with a decent amount of experience in the food service industry. I will also need to hire two people who are responsible for cleaning my establishment after closing.

The Kitchen Manager and General Manager will start out at a salary of forty thousand per year with Blue Cross Blue Shield Benefits that I will pay half of. I will endeavor to keep the Managers at fifty or so hours. My general level staffing will make nine dollars per hour with a benefit package available to them deducted from their paycheck weekly. My cleaning crew will be paid minimum wage. All employees will receive a 25% discount on all our products.

My desired location will be one of two places: downtown Dunedin or downtown St. Pete. I will advertise in many ways. I will circulate coupons to incite business in local papers. I will create business cards with an item of interest free on the back of the card such as a free smoothie or breakfast sandwich (with the purchase of another) to create incentive to draw business. I will then hand out said business cards in places where I might find my demographic. I will use VistaPrint and cheaper methods of printing and advertising as I am trying to keep my start-up funds low until profit begins to funnel down. I will use old fashioned networking and word of mouth putting in a lot of hours on pavement to suffice this need. Two hundred fifty business cards with VistaPrint can be printed for about twenty dollars. I would probably fulfill an order of five hundred. There are many local papers that allow for free ads if under a certain word count. I would use such means as social media (like Facebook) as well. I would rev up fellow business owners in the area that might lend support by helping me spread word of my new business. I would host a grand opening party for the public to come see what I am all about.

I would being by being open from seven to eleven weekdays and open longer on weekends as business demands until I could see what my prime flow was and would honor those hours as I found them out.

I found financial backing through several means. I was able to procure some money through personal backing of investors that believed in my business model. I was also able to procure a small business loan from a local community bank. I also added to this fund some money that I have been saving for this exact moment. Altogether, I was able to procure one hundred thousand dollars so that I might get through a majority of the year to justify expenses until the profit margin regulates itself.

General Manager salary, one month: $3,400.00.

Kitchen Manager salary, one month: $3,400.00.

Five general level staff members, thirty hours each @ $9/hr. $1,350.00

Two cleaning crew members @ 3hrs. per night @ $7.67 * 5 nights per week: $230.00

Benefits would not begin until after thirty days of employment.

My salary is intentionally not included because I have created a position to allow for this until profit margins rise (estimated three to six months).

Rent for my small café: $1300.00.

Electricity: $800.00.

Food and supply expenses: $14,500.00.

Advertising: $300.00.

Total expense estimated for one month: $25,280.00.

Sales estimated for one month: $30,000.00.

Profit estimated for one month: $4,720.00.

 

Code of Ethics for the Soap Box Café:

·        There is to be no swearing, arguing, or negative display on the sales floor or within customer hearing.

·        There will be no tolerance for racial, sexual, or religious intolerance.

·        There will be no tolerance for sexual harassment.

·        There will be no tolerance for taking anything that belongs to the company without express written or verbal consent by management.

·        There are to be no sales of a personal nature taking place on company property without express permission of management.

·        There will be no tolerance for intoxication or drug use of any sort while on the company clock.

·        There shall be no lying to achieve personal gain within the company structure.

·        Insubordination is strictly discouraged. Open door policy is encouraged.

·        There will be no tolerance for clocking anyone other than oneself into the company time clock.

·        There shall be no slanderous remark made regarding fellow employees. The open door policy allows room for harmonic conversation with the intention of meeting resolution or compromise.

·        All employees are expected to be working in the best interest of the company (not themselves) the entire time they are on the company clock.

·        Employees must be mindful of their conduct while in uniform as they are being seen as a representative of our business.

·        There is to be no product made or supplied without being rung through the system.

Each code must be enforced individually as some represent more severity than others. For minor violations, the procedure will be as follows: first a verbal warning, then written warning, finally suspension or termination. For severe policy breaches such as sexual harassment or drug use, immediate termination may be necessary. The code will be in constant progress but will be attended to directly twice per year in a manager meeting. The code of ethics will be included in all new hire packets and will be posted in employee areas of viewing.

Discrimination Policies and Procedures:

No tolerance of sexual orientation, race, gender, or religious beliefs will be tolerated. Each employee that is hired as a part of our crew was hired due to a certain set of skills or knowledge that will benefit our company. Each employee is deigned the right to be who they are as long as they do not cross the personal boundaries of other staff members. An atmosphere of hostility or judgment will not be tolerated, and will be severely punished if an air of malevolence is determined to be present in interpersonal dealings.

All new hire employees must work through an employee handbook that will include company policies, code of ethics, discrimination policy, and knowledge of our menu and operation. They will be quizzed and guided through training to ensure that these mandates are understood from the beginning. There will be staff orientation meetings where management will conduct question and answer sessions at the end of training/orientation to ensure full understanding of all that is required of staff members.

Policies on discrimination will be strictly enforced and judged on a per case basis. The Owner/Operator shall be the sole deciding factor in these matters though reporting manager will also be involved and given sway.

Discrimination of all sorts must be reported immediately to the manager on duty. The manager on duty must then immediately involve the Owner/Operator. All acts of Discrimination will be taken to heart with utter seriousness and will involve outside authorities if it is deemed necessary (especially if sexual or racial in nature).

Our business will in essence be an anchor in the artistic segment of our community. It will promise to maintain the utmost commitment to our customers’ health and physical wellbeing. We shall be dedicated to offering high levels of nutritional value along with a place where artists, poets, musicians & creators of other sorts might come and network, express and enjoy themselves. No judgment or negative speak of any sort shall be offered by any employee at any time while on or off property regarding our business’ highlighted artists. All employees must show interest in understanding the nutritional value of our products and be able to accurately explain to a guest the dietary breakdown of our products (materials will be posted and provided). All employees must register a mind-set of wellness in their conduct while at work and hopefully while out of work as well. Our target demographic will be those who earnestly wish to eat correctly and enjoy their food at the same time. Foods will be organic and non-processed. Art will be local and in the interest of helping up and coming artist support themselves and become known.

Our company will maintain the closest resonance to begin a green company as is possible. All employees will please be mindful of waste, whether product, electricity or time. Employees will be dedicated to staying with recipes and standards as the menu was designed to adequately be mindful of these things. Sensor lights will be placed in rooms that are not populated often. Green paper products will be purchased and used solely. Styrofoam will not be present anywhere on the property. Customers will be encouraged to bring in their own travel mugs for a discount on smoothies, etc. Employees will be educated and expected to uphold green policies. The Owner/Operator shall be dedicated to staying on trend with her knowledge base on such matters. Companies supplying product will be chosen per their green policies as well.

Liability is always a thought that must be had. Owner/Operator, Management & Staff shall be mindful of OSHA procedures, healthy and safe kitchen and work environment. Employees must wear non-slip shoes. Customers and non-employee friend and family members must be aware of not crossing employee area only lines. Wet floor signs must always be used when cleaning flooring. Caution and care must be on the forefront of thought when preparing food, serving food, cleaning, and executing all job functions. Safety, healthy and OSHA policies will be posted in Employee viewing areas.

All policies will be written for and reviewed with new hire employees. All policies will be posted in plain view for all employees. Any changes will be discussed in a company-wide meeting. An open door policy will be encouraged for all questions and concerns. Regular employee meetings will be held along with food served to encourage harmony and morale among staff.

All policies will be strictly enforced as per descriptions in the employee manual. All situations will be judged on a per item basis by Management and Owner/Operator.

Anyone feeling they have been violated or have witnessed a violation will be treated with respect and discretion. All such situations should be reported to the Management on Duty and the Manager then will involve the Owner/Operator. All such situations will be held in utter respect and privacy to ensure the comfort of any reporting staff member.

As we are a small company, if possible the Manager on Duty should always be the first to be told regarding any discrimination or policy violation. However the Owner/Operator would like to exhibit a family atmosphere where she may be approached with said concerns. The open door policy would hope to encourage all problems/concerns an employee may have to be considered as relevant and the staff should understand their privacy will be respected. The ultimate goal is to create a harmonic work environment where hard work, honesty and integrity are respected.

The Owner/Operator will also hold herself to these standards and create an ideal for the hard work and honesty she expects from the staff she hires.

Aurora Borealis on my bedroom wall.

First of all, it is three twenty six in the morning and I am up eating salad. I just woke to a very strange and beautiful experience. I am not even sure how well I am about to express this in words but I feel as though I must try.

I wish I could recapture the moment I awoke. Freeze frame the thought. It was readily apparent when I woke but now like a fragile whisp of smoke, it is gone. What I do remember is still exquisitely beautiful!

I know that I had an epiphany or revelation of high spiritual order. I opened my eyed to greet the flickering candlelight on my bedroom wall and felt so amazed by what I had just figured out. As I am staring at the flickering candlelight, every square inch of wall being graced by the light of the candle shimmered prismatic, and on my very soul, appeared as spectacular as all the recordings of aurora borealis i have ever seen.

The light display continued for quite some time and then returned to normal. As I am completely sober, this really blew my mind.

So I lay there for a while. It happened again. A fragment of thought I can still remember, but the depth of the message eludes me. I can feel the difference in my soul however, and wonder when the rest will return to surface realization. I am intrigued, and wish I could express the beauty of what has just happened in the sanctity of my bedroom.

I tossed and turned and tried to return to sleep, but could not. I felt led to write about it.  I know so many of you read my posts, and so many beautiful souls cross my path daily. I am interested to see what the reverberation is.

Hotep all,
Lady RAin

listening...

I have always found passion in watching the numbers and the algorithms in the worlds around me. It is incredible how much being in the right place at the perfect time can weave its way outward from you and open up the synchronous nature of the spiritual path of your day.

I feel that there are marcations along the path mathematically speaking that spark our awareness of the algorithms presence, which can futher heighten the nature of our spiritual flow.

I have had many tease me saying that I am always seeing signs in everything. Perhaps. However, what if the way my mind perceives this phenomenon will further open doorways for new development in spirituality, psychology and even mathematics.

Recently, a dear friend of mine was in the same time continuum as I was and noticed this anomolies with me. It was liberating to a great extent because that does not often happen so that two people walk the same path at the same time. It was an intense experience.

To me there are signifiers that alert me to the awareness that I am at Center Calm that I am in the vein of Wu Wei flow.

I see numbers. I see patterns. Segments of conversation that band together as I walk through them. People that notice or do the same thing at the same time. Once I hone in on the rhythm, I am in the center of the water way and move where I am supposed to go.

I listen to the Wind. I hear the rhythm of the leaves as She moves through the trees. I am listening.

Like A Prayer

In the shadowy layers of the mind, there Hell resides. One circle at a time, we confess our sin and climb. Higher circles; stronger purge: until we unfetter ourselves from this Earth. In the beginning, sin was born. Of sin, was born choice, and we all have the power to choose.

She peered into the mirror with bloodshot eyes. Night spent crying had left her empty inside. She had forsaken her husband and her child for a man who had already found someone younger more beautiful. Her tired eyes mocked her and the silver hair at her temples made her remember a love she would have done better to remain true to.

She ran for miles trying to get rid of this wild burning building inside. After hours she collapsed in an abandoned field far from home. She wept until she had no breath left and was swept away in dark dream to a place she had hoped she would never see.

She knew this place. People ran around engaged in chaotic screaming. Flies and wasps were chasing them in endless undulating circles. She walked amidst the chaos until she came to a darker place where people were staring at walls, vapid expressions on their faces. At least she had made a choice. In Limbo, they linger unaware of their choice. In Limbo, they linger afraid of their voice.

Quickly she passed through this space, and was engaged by a beast who wrapped his tail around her to decide where in Hell she would reside. She lowered her eyes afraid of what he might see. She wore her hunger like a scarlet letter upon her chest. She was bereft and beset by a beast she had never even seen.

In the second circle of hell she was daunted by the sights that met her tear stained eyes. The first figure she recognized as King David. He was wailing on a small precipice of rock. The only vision in his view was Bathsheba bathing on that fated roof. She had turned to stone. Her eyes cast in dead stare into his very soul. He could not look away. Would this moment never end?

Next she was distracted by the sound piercing the center of her ears. Madonna on a stage clutching a microphone, but all that was heard was a dial tone. Millions of fans all faced the other way offering no interest in anything she had to say.

She wandered away from the sound drawn to the flashing of colorful lights. Here she finds Brittney Spears, scantily clad, dancing and touching herself. There are many others dancing on the floor around her but none will make eye contact with her. She is infuriated by this lack of connection and moves toward specific dancers. Like a magnetic force they are repulsed by her forward motion. Every time she gets close to any of them they are automatically pulsated away. She dances herself into a panic, dying to be attractive; longing to be seen.

The adulteress’ mind raced in poetic phrasing: “The power of the lust is in the finishing touch. There is no fulfillment in this way we’ve paved. You long to touch but cannot feel. Even the beast between your knees does not seem real. Here she would hunger, waiting for the spark to return. The yearning would never again be satisfied.” Suddenly, she was overwhelmed by a desire to see herself in a mirror. What had she become? She knew something was wrong.

She found herself face to face with her husband and her nine year old daughter, Anna. She was so relieved at their presence until she saw the response in their eyes. There was horror, fear, and something that resembled pity. She reached out for them but they backed away. Anna began screaming begging her mother not to touch her. The space was limited and resembled the family home. But they desired her to be nowhere close.

In the corner of what appeared to be the family den, there was her grandmother’s old vanity mirror. She was now terrified but had to know what had become of her once model like looks. She approached slowly, having no idea what to expect. She would never have been armed for the hideous beast that met her gaze. She retracted with a scream, and backed slowly away. “Please, someone, wake me from this nightmare! Return me to my family and I will never again satisfy the hunger of my lust.”

She retracted to a corner opposite the mirror. Across the room near a window bathed in a hazy storm filled light, sat her daughter shaking in tremors and her husband doing all he could to console her. What had she done? If she could only find herself waking from a terrifying dream in that old abandoned field, the changes she would make.

She fell into a deep level of sleeping and began dreaming of a particularly perfect afternoon where the three of them had taken the boat far out on the Bay and had eaten a spectacular picnic lunch complete with ice cream and strawberries. She could almost taste the bouquet of flavors that met her taste-buds that ancient afternoon.

She awoke with a start to find her precious Anna banging her head against the floor wailing louder than any other sound. Her husband could do nothing to make it stop and was glaring at his wife in a hatred that could almost be touched. This was unbearable. This was her eternal nightmare. If only she could go back. If only she could do it any other way. The price must be paid. It was too late to be saved.

knowledge of the still

We review ourselves for moderation
soul sensation
deep penetration
we are a wave chasing nation
Hear what i am saying?
We dive in with propensity
Deeper in the darkest sea
Fixating on what cannot be seen
and forgetting what is in our palm
holy alms
offer up a solemn Psalm
give your all and perhaps be calmed
but what are we searching for?

Washington's Annunciation by Jan Van Eyck

In a time where art and architecture were once again changing, from the Northern Renaissance emerged a painter who would lead in his texturing of oil paint, and his masterful display of light. Jan Van Eyck painted with his brother Hubert until Hubert’s early death while working on the Ghent Altarpiece. Jan and his workshop finished the great work, and Jan continued with his endeavors and painted many great works in his remaining years.

The piece that struck the deepest resonating chord with me was Washington’s Annunciation. In view of this great work many details would immediately be noticed. The seven rays of divine light possessed no shadow whereas the natural lighting of the painting did. The folding of the robes of the Virgin strongly resembles the folds of the cloth in the Ghent Altarpiece. The architecture is mixed in rounded Romanesque columns and slightly pointed Gothic construction. There is a strong marriage of past and present not only in the architecture but in the message itself. Presented are both elements of Old and New Testament. The stories chosen from the Old Testament are those directly relative to the coming of the Christ. There are elements of the Zodiac present as well. The entire painting marries time in past present and present future scopes.

The ill repaired boards in the higher ceiling of the painting are unlike the architecture of the other Van Eyck works. Just like every other well-articulated element in this painting, there is significant meaning to be found in these broken boards. They further state a transition from old law to new law; from old structure to new structure.

Another significant juxtaposition in the message of the painting comes in the dialogue of the Archangel Gabriel and the Virgin Mary. As the archangel addresses the Virgin, the words are painted to be read from the viewer’s perspective (a human view). The humble words that the Virgin responds with however are painted upside down therefore only able to be viewed by God Himself.

This painting is riddled with message, and articulated in its complex layers of detail. There are seven rays of golden, divine light signifying the seven graces given to the Blessed Virgin. The absence of shadow ornately states this light to be of the ethereal realm. It entrances the viewer and encourages translation.

In the time of Van Eyck’s life, the emergence from the Dark Ages into a time of Reformation had further altered the profession of one’s beliefs through art. The return to classical elements did not erase the need for symbolism and only seemed to enhance it. Movement was being made from Judaism to Christianity; from Romanesque to Gothic; from darkly symbolic works to well-lit and meaning filled layers of oil paint, richly textured to offer depth.

The most astounding element I encountered was the existence of tools that art historians can now use to unveil layers of shadow paint beneath the surface of the existing work of art. For all the complexity of this piece so much more must be translated when one studies the shadow layers that happened in the making of such a great work of art.

The overall meaning of Washington’s Annunciation, shadow layers included, seems to represent a progression from old to new. It is multi-faceted yet all elements seem to point in the direction of this movement. With the representation of older architecture perfectly and artistically married to new architecture, we see the progression of the building around him at that time. However, when you consider the transitional elements that are represented in perfect harmony between the Old and New Testament, it seems actual that both the architecture and the story are married in perfect purpose to represent transition. Furthermore is seems safe to assume that the grand design is to show Christ’s supremacy over the Devil; the transition from Old Testament Judaism to New Testament Christianity; and to harmonize all of it with the changing of the era around Jan Van Eyck through the transition of the architecture.

Jan Van Eyck may be remembered for his skill as a painter, for his masterful brush strokes, or his spectacular display of light with oil paints, but I will always be entranced by his symbolism and the layers of his purpose filled message.

Trich up my sleeve...

This will prove to be the most invasive thing I have ever written. For a woman who is used to walking around with her heart on her sleeve, I never thought those words could ring truth as they echoed from my throat. Yet, here they are, and here I am, and here we go!

I contracted trich seven months ago. Trichomoniasis is a sexually transmitted infection and is supposed to go away with use of a particular anti-biotic. After several treatments and absolute abstinence I was unable to be free from these tiny little parasites. I found through research that there was a resistant strand and there was a second antibiotic that was meant to rid this resistant strand. Unfortunately, it still did not go away.

I have practiced abstinence almost absolutely for all of these seven months, having been penetrated only twice. For such a sexual individual, it has been very troublesome. It has been very empowering as well.

As a woman who had been pregnant three times while on a birth control, I had an IUD inserted to prevent further pregnancy. It has been non troublesome for a few years now.

The Center for Disease Control has become involved as of almost two months ago. They have yet to come to my doctor and I with a solution. I did a lot of research. There is a high correlation between infection and the IUD especially BV and Trich. So, this morning I had my IUD removed.

Any empathic or intellectual being can imagine the layers of emotional confrontation on my table right now. I am reassessing everything. I am figuring out where this leaves me. I am a highly sexual being who has been pregnant three times while on birth control!

Furthermore, I am not sure if my theory will prove true. The IUD may not be the problem. I also have to face the fact that I have to take yet another round of antibiotics that had me doubling over garbage cans, and waiting for it to be out of my system. I am listening. Power speak of the Universe reaches me clearly. Daily stronger.

I hope this is the end. I hope that my situation has really helped another woman avoid this same space.

I love you all. Thank you for your support.

RA~in.

Tao Teh Ching

Raised a Baptist minister’s daughter, I was spoon fed the philosophies of Christianity from the tender age of four. I was a strong student of the Bible and read the entire Bible several times, memorizing large portions. We were trained to tear apart the text, often researching in depth the backgrounds of Hebrew and Latin in which the King James Version of the Bible was translated from.

I was applauded for my level of skill in memorization and interpretation and was even offered trophies along the way to commemorate the accomplishments I had made. But around seventeen my soul began to feel unrest. I realized there were many other avenues I had never considered. I left home in search of my own beliefs. I experimented, studied, and listened to the spiritual voice of many others in order to find what I myself truly believed.

I was introduced to Taoism around the age of nineteen. Having moved far from my childhood home, I felt free to find the nature of my own soul’s beliefs. I was engaged fully by the concepts of Taoism, and have had a copy of the Tao Teh Ching among my most sacred books for over a decade now.

The word Tao literally means, “The Way”.  It is a path of harmonic peace within nature. It requires of its patrons many ideals that would include Simplicity, Gentleness, and Relativity (p. 226 Molloy).

The Tao must not be confused with God. It is all things and all things are manifestations of it; however, it is not one particular thing and it certainly has no stated personality that would align with a type of god or God Himself.

One of the most fundamental principles of Taoism is the concept of Wu Wei. Wu Wei is also my favorite element and has aided in augmenting my spiritual nature to an inherent level of existence. Its power is quite supernatural when fully grasped and fully practiced. Wu Wei is the effortlessness required in a simplistic existence desired by a Taoist. Wu Wei might be described as the flowing of water. One would be benefited if one became as water. Water flows freely along its natural course. It does not stop to argue with rocks in its path; it simply continues to flow around obstacles. Water is not known to ponder the existence of the fallen log on its course; it simply continues to flow in its natural progression.

Yoga, another important element of Taoism, to us is an exercise or series of exercises and breathing techniques. To a Taoist, yoga is so much more. It is a Sanskrit word that embraces even dietary needs, meditation, along with breathing and exercises to become the healthiest physical version of one-self. Part of yoga would include finding a state of internal alchemy. “It aims at transforming and spiritualizing the life force (qi, ch’i) of the practitioner (p.226 Molloy).”

Taoism like Confucianism was not seen as an organized religion when it was developed. It is simply a “way” of thought; a “way” of existence. The Tao is governed by such thought processes as simplicity, gentleness, relativity, and the element of yin-yang.

Yin-yang is the fundamental balance of duality. It is not seen as good and evil. One element is not superior over the other. The two elements are believed to balance one another, harmonize together, and therefore be a whole. Much of yin and yang would be represented as dark and light, male and female, cold and hot, truth and illusion, etc. (p. 217 Molloy).

The concept of Taoism like Confucianism may be implemented into many religious views. On a personal level, I feel this is healthy to glean from multiple sources the thread of truth that source represents and then add it to the wealth of knowledge our individual soul seeks to attain.

“The five colours blind the eye. The five tones deafen the ear. The five flavours cloy the palate. Racing and hunting madden the mind. Rare goods tempt men to do wrong. Therefore, the Sage takes care of the belly, not the eye. He prefers what is within to what is without (Tao Teh Ching 12).”

A Taoist not only seeks harmony with nature but also ardently seeks to see patterns apparent in Nature so that one might learn. “Some of the patterns were quite easy to discern…others were more subtle, like the motion of waves and the ripple of mountain ranges (p. 216 Molloy)…”

A Taoist operates inside a state of center calm, while endeavoring at all times to exist within the moment. A Taoist seeks to float like water down the river of life, honoring the patterns found in the natural world that surrounds us. A Taoist seeks to not harm other beings and honors the harmonic flow of the natural world.

“It lies in the nature of the Grand Virtue to follow the Tao and the Tao alone. Now what is the Tao? It is Something elusive and evasive. Evasive and elusive! And yet It contains within Itself a Form. Elusive and evasive! And yet It contains within Itself a Substance. Shadowy and dim! And yet It contains within Itself a Core of Vitality. The Core of Vitality is very real, it contains within Itself an unfailing Sincerity. Throughout the ages Its Name has been preserved in order to recall the Beginning of all things. How do I know the ways of all things at the Beginning? By what is within me (Tao Teh Ching 21)”.

Therefore, I proceed forward along my own spiritual path, seeking knowledge, gaining wisdom and holding on only to those things which resonate as truth within me. This is the way of the Tao.

 

 

On Confucianism

The Master said, “At fifteen, I had my mind bent on learning. At thirty, I stood firm. At forty, I had no doubts. At fifty, I knew the decrees of Heaven. At sixty, my ear was an obedient organ for the reception of truth. At seventy, I could follow what my heart desired, without transgressing what was right (from the Confucian Analects).”

It would not be appropriate to see Confucianism as a religion. It is a school of thought: a school in which the Master himself (Confucius) did not see himself as a creator of original thought but a vessel of the Universe. His words have echoed through time and influenced many great minds.

Confucius wished to “create a harmonious society (p. 236 Molloy).” He “believed that each human being is capable of being good, refined, and even great (p. 236 Molloy)…” His “idea of a perfect society was one in which every member of society would be cared for and protected, and no one would feel abandoned (p. 237 Molloy).”

Born to a poor family, Confucius was a shy child and was not remarkable in means of physical beauty or athletic achievement. In a world where battle was at the forefront of a male universe, Confucius had nothing significant to offer. However, he took to knowledge like a fish to water, and his mother nurtured this within him until her untimely death.

Confucianism can be analyzed in two main segments. We must study the Five Great Virtues and the Five Great Relationships to truly understand the Confucian school of thought. The Five Great Virtues are Ren (Empathy), Li (Appropriate behavior), Shu (Reciprocity), Xiao (Filial Piety or ancestral devotion), Wen (Culture or love of music, art, poetry). I feel most aligned to the concept of Shu. We are certainly well versed in our culture to the thought process of the Golden Rule which would be of a similar nature.

Shu represents not only receiving what is needed but also giving what you can to aid another human being. In a society that is very wrapped up in taking what we need to survive and climb our corporate ladder of choice, the ideal of reciprocity speaks loudly to me. I find its voice to be soothing and honorable. If all would honestly give as much as they proceed to take, what a wonder filled world this could truly be.

The other major segmentation of Confucianism comes in the representation of the Five Great Relationships. They are Father, Son; Older brother, Younger brother; Husband, Wife; Elder, Younger; Ruler, Subject.

I think the relationship that most intrigues me in the Five Great Relationships would be the Husband to Wife. Primarily we have lost the element of family in this country. A husband and wife must strike and imperative balance in order to raise a successful family unit. A husband is seen as being the leader, the strength, the money maker, the decision maker. The wife is seen as running the household, the one who will nurture and care for the husband, children and household. While some may view that as a very fifties view from our culture’s perspective, I think it can be done in such a way as to create family harmony.

If each relationship category operated within its well versed territory as Confucius states should be done there would be a beautiful harmonic flow in the society as it would naturally develop in this method of operation.

We have in the Western culture development, sought individual liberty which has positives and negatives as any element would. On the negative aspect, I see that striking out in a direction of betterment of self, only invited stepping on others in the path to your own personal achievement.

            The grand thread throughout Confucianism would be to follow the ideals of the five virtues and the five relationships in order to reach a state where one has become a superior person (junzi). “The Master said, a gentleman takes as much trouble to discover what is right as lesser men take to discover what will pay (from the Analects, p. 245 Molloy).”

            As in Taoism, one would strive to be as perfect in deed as one would also strive to be perfect in thought. Life was about learning. Life was striving to exist in a natural state of harmony. “A gentleman covets the reputation of being slow in word but prompt in deed (p. 245 Molloy).”

            Another component of Confucianism that I greatly enjoyed was its magnetism to the arts. Wen is a love of culture: music, art, and poetry. A soul being expressed freely to me is beautiful. “Confucianism has been a great patron of the Chinese arts (p. 251 Molloy).

            Basically, a conclusive thought regarding Confucianism would be that if one were to adequately follow the structured thoughts of the Master, one would become a person of honor, a person of good deed, a person who loved the arts, a person who was dedicated to knowledge and finding harmony within one’s society.

            Confucianism marries well to almost any religion because it is a school of thought not a religious persuasion. It holds high concepts of intelligence, valor, strength of mind, and actions that portray one in honorable societal light. There are no gods to worship. There are no rites of passage. There are no holy days or traditions, only a school of thought built on strong logic meant to be followed with a perfectionist’s tenacity to allow one to rise above the average of the societal stance and become the best of oneself.

            Because it is a school of thought, I see Confucianism lasting for many ages to come, able to supplement any people, with any belief, in any time period. It is a strong foundation for any human being committed to excellence of thought, and excellence of deed.

The Xenia Thread

Xenia, the ancient Greek concept of hospitality played a very large role in the story of the Odyssey. As a backbone, the concept is mirrored in both positive and negative light. Remove the existence of Xenia from the story, and the essence of the Odyssey will dissipate before your eyes.

        The first representation of Xenia rests in the beginning of the story. We find many men troubling Telemachus as they attempt to be suitors for his mother, though she remains loyal to her husband Odysseus.

        Telemachus expresses his vexation to the disguised Athena when he states, “They are eating us out of house and home, and will kill me someday (p. 248).”

        Due to the cultural respect of the concept of Xenia, Telemachus is unable to remove these men from his father’s home. His mother is not entertaining the suitors but remains loyal to her belief that Odysseus is alive and will yet return home. The “suitors” bank on Telemachus’ obligation to Xenia and remain comfortable in the home of Odysseus.

        This becomes an aggregant thread throughout the story from the beginning of the tale to the climax itself.

        In the case of the men seeking to be suitors, the honor of Xenia became a negative for Telemachus as he endeavored to uphold the honor of his Father’s house. However, there are points in the story where Odysseus could not have survived without it.

        Nausicaa was aroused by Athena (once more employing disguise) to rise from her slumber and wash her clothing. At the river, her path crosses the broken form of Odysseus: having washed upon the river’s shore the night before “On hands and knees. The sea had broken his spirit. His whole body was swollen…He lay scarcely alive (p. 282-283)...”

        Awakening to the sound of Nausicaa and her maids, Odysseus found himself broken and covered in brine. Nausicaa provided him with elements of oil and clothing so he may once more be presentable and hence represented Xenia to a strong degree. “Get ready now, stranger…So I can show you the way to my father’s house…if you want to see your homeland soon (p. 291-293)...”

        Nausicaa is aware of Odysseus’ great need for her mercy. His spirit, broken by the sea (p. 282) had left him nothing to do beside lay naked, covered in brine on the bank, where he lay waiting for the light of Dawn. The card of Xenia was used by this young woman to save the life of Odysseus, restoring his vitality so he was once more ready for travel. She knows well what she is doing as she offers the hospitality of her father’s house. It is reflected in her words upon Odysseus’ departure, “Farewell, stranger, and remember me in your native land. I saved your life (p. 294).”

        Without Xenia, Telemachus would have thrown out the stated suitors from his presence. He would have upheld the honor of his father and of his mother as she remained loyal, awaiting Odysseus’ return. Odysseus would have perhaps not survived his travels without the hospitality of several characters along his journey. As he arrived home, there would have been no men awaiting the slaughter of Odysseus. As stated, remove the thread of Xenia, and the entire essence of the Odyssey dissipates before your eyes.

        The honor within the concept of Xenia comes as one must view all guests as possible gods. It allows a traveler to be treated with utmost respect and hospitality. One may travel more often if the code of Xenia were present in our Western world. I am moved by this possibility. I am intrigued with the entirety of the elements Xenia added to the story of the Odyssey. Without it, the story simply would not remain.

Reflection: an exchange between the RAin and Kera Jo. Sick Nile River Flow!

inner light shines brighter than the sexiest of smiles, your voice could carry me through a travel that last for days worth of miles/i desire the fullest of quickness/cuz I am in this to win it/don't listen to the din/we are surrounded by white noise/boys dancing loudly around girls like they're toys/i saw the shimmer in your soul speak/this listen easy doorway/we are chorusing down bright lit streets/see this way we've paved. days after nights we forgotten the fight/ till another soldier comes along and reminds us what is right/we are the better of the best/ the fastest of the winners/we are the daring to do better/the rising of the sinners

 

im thirsty you rain/ easing my pain/ listen to all you're telling me/tempted to end your celibacy/always loved a warrior/ the fight is in your eyes/ two poetic souls arise/brought by the Nile underneath bright skies

 

wise listeners hear our voices carry, and in those sacred spaces my tongue would know to tarry, I carry the weight of these words on my shoulders from here to the next world war they are a boulder/I am a barrier/sinking in the quick sand/rescuing those ready to resurrect and trying to hearken to the plan/understand it is never easy to see the eyes that refuse the freeing/i would rather be able to rescue the whole damned human race

 

I am a supporter, lifting the sound of your voice like amplifier, coupling it with my own, finding the healing harmonic vibration to heal and liberate a nation/ I am a healer to dress the wounds of the hurt who hurt, to bottle your tears that will moisten the dry wounds of those who didn't know they were bound till their bonds were loose

 

noose around their necks/yet their pain deserves respect/i was sent to loosen and protect/march steady and gain connect/ we wise warriors never tarry, and even tho these days to come promise to be scary/i am the one who shall limit the variable/vary the bull/we embrace the skull/ i am milk to your cranium/all that I say I am/wiser than just yesterday/i may saunter, sway, and even swagger/but i never shatter, and I never fall down

never fall during crisis, all praise to Isis, the victory is priceless, with niceness we ice this/ fear is a factor for them who lack the, stamina to back the ...wins that we after/ one factor... of this war is the battle crosses realms/ with knowledge as a captain & wisdom at the helm/for those who thought it might broke, we be corded like rope, reporting bright hope, cuz what we write? DOPE

scope out the tower/bright laced in alabaster/we march until the middle class become the master/what we after is equality/i am here to set my people free/speak easy floor at the speak easy door/this speak easy score is easy to settle/I am a beast on a microphone/I only ask that you give me my own/I am here for the Pride of my people/roll our the paper and erect a brand new steeple/we deeper than surface level/soul settled and we have become unfettered/we better than the baddest "click up on this thing"/we sing loud songs/our melodies long/we gong over liars and set the whole world on fyah/we the one true desire/soul flyers/we aspire to be the greatest/and that's exactly what we'll be

Equality I'm with you, & for that Equity, get with me, we here to not let it be/ anything but better, Rain you make it wetter while I loose the fetter, & we do this to(get)her/ liberate the masses, re-establish classes, quick with it, we fastest to not let nothing past us/ Your beauty is alluring, your flow is steady pouring/ hear the goddess in the song of your soul, hope one day your hand I hold

my hand, heart and body/sistah, you got this goddess throbbing/and i haven't even seen your pictures/but we steady chemistrating this mixture/get wit ya/shit we was born of one another/mother to daughter and sister is to father as lover is the profit/we the wisest on the market/we sick with it/soul flow/only down with the intimate/we the baddest on the infinite/character arising from the divinity/we see far and wide/almost arose above the ocean tide/we hide from no one/the aten arises and we remember the battle done/the setting sun/victory won/we the only ones

 

my heart just skipped a beat, like a remix on dese streets/ I'm drinkin in your words & my reflection became complete/ no need for pictures, just picture, eyes closed & Im with you/ voice to voice, we hit membRain, the intensity insane!/crazy & deranged, they bout to think us strange cuz we bout to rock the stage, cross land & time & age/ i think we'll uncover memory of when I was you and you was me, walkin in divinity, traveling cross infinity

 

god/damn/I orgasmed hard like you already had/been wit me/sent this beat/down my spine to the toes on my feet/we heatin up the microphone/wait these written words and we alone/so zoned and crazy/hazy like I've been smoking the haze, see/what I did there/how i laid bare/stare if you must/cuz i will not combust/i come quickly/cuz its been so long since anyone cared to listen to my song/religiously/i speak see/just hopping that somebody will listen/glisten from the sweat as I represent/i came from the streets/hard core at eleven and I'm rocking a seven/no wait, make that a nine, I mean that is the number of our goddess divine/we entertwine like we've already loved/aten is smiling on us from above/we lovin it/brought together by some strangers convenant/we rubbing it/like some genie lamp that we could not be parted from/remember the dome/we never alone/now that I know you are down for the chrome/we hone in and respond/flying far beyond this murky pond/we so far toward Dawn/it is mos definitely time to get our game on

 

touch with a word that was seen & not heard/ with that you CAME into me, gladly allow u to enter me/ joined we belong, on a rhyme, poem or song/ How can I not listen, when Im also waiting so long?/ hard core is why your heart pour, I love your name/ cause what your called and what you do are exactly the same/ Reign Rain Reign, queen... goddess... I proclaim, that we will both win this game, cause our lamp remains!

we are the same/reflection of the other/sister to mother/lover under covers/shit what is this?/you have filled me with the quickness/quick witted and spitting/these words that cannot be mocked/we spock and the doctor/the captain is the profit/we walking through the soft lands/but good to know I walk with you/sew together all these pieces/keep my strengthened skin from reaching/we deep in and we begin the preaching/we wander far from home/i feel much less alone/we zone off and in and witness/our souls are braved with quickness/we witness a physical distance, but i am twin to your soul

loving you would be loving me, complete and utterly/ both instant & suddenly, don't know what was done to me/but to your words I testify, my spirit won't let this lie/& our eternal souls won't let this die, within me, you are inside/ Thank you for this zone, the house we build now becomes a home/Today I felt so alone, till we spoke & u were my own

 

hone in on your every sense/and no one in their right mind could consider this senseless/we are no where near defenseless/my niece cannot even determine which voice is yours and which is mine/so let us attempt to redefine/lines over symptoms/we are the bearing of the beginning/wish you were in the physical with me/i could use your arms wrapped in mine

 

I would hold u tight, stroke your hair, share your breath, & kiss u lightly on the forehead with each rhythmic rise of your breast/ I would pour my energy into you & receive yours as edify one another, powering up the divine light, godess to godess/ We would paint word pictures of our future journey together & harmonize with the melody of our motions/ We would make love naturally, spiritually and mentally, multi-orgasmic continuums on each plane simultaneously... if I was there in the physical

 

i concede as we feed into this divincal flow/knowing what it will be like before we even menatally know/we mentally flow/sewing seeds for the future and we simply just grow/together/weathering every storm/storm over sickness/we are dancing through the swiftness/ breathing through the quickness/why are you not in my arms?

 

I was, I am & I will be... you were, you are, you will be with me/ Time is unreal, we live as we feel/ to take care of you, meet your needs, we both water and plant the seeds/ storm whenever, make music forever, belong together, separate never!

never is a long time/but I plant forever seeds on a long vine/we determine what we will mine/like gold finds/we divine our destinies, and I promise you will get the best of me/divest in me the secrets of your entity/i am emptying/my song into your arms/the rest of me/i am protected see/but the goddesses i choose never underestimate me/we the prophecy/the ones we've been waiting for/we the secrecy/a peace of me/and we be marching free/the clemency/like offering the offerings would give the penance see/we the brahman see/the state of the gods till no more falter see/we the offering/daughtering the goddesses of the sanctuary/we the estuary/scary nonetheless/we are blessed with the best of forever/soul sever/we together/and together we will weather any storm/i've the strongest arm/keep you safe from harm, and you offer me a safe breast to call home

A breast to rest, be comforted and confess/ I too give you my best, profess that your songs in my arms they belong/ sinking into my skin, bone and marrow, becoming nutritious, you're so delicious, the answer to my wishes/ more like prayers, elevate me with your stares/ inebriate me with each lesson/ like Rain in drought, u r my blessing

 

so i lay in your gentle breast confession/this vision, no make that obssession/this image, no make that projection/we succession/like every blessing is rising in the height of our surmising/ i am fantasizing/cuz this alone time i was needing turned into me and you just free flowing/one to the other/how could i not expect you would penetrate me under cover/use no rubber/we need no gloves in between us/we could take it rough or ragged/my soul lies jagged/but you this magnet, and I cannot phathom/we empathic/haven't even touched you yet/you won't regret, the night you lay in my arms/my spiritual charms already got you raw...wish you wer closer/in the physical/take my meanings literal/goddamit girl/i'm spinning whirls/like whirlwinds of thought/of iron wrought/we been double bought/double sold/we made of gold/make that titanium/we got this new etheral hum/we already been done/but no one seen love like this before/we settle the score/open the door/what more could we offer/they can keep on scoffing/but we keep on walking/worn soles for worn souls

 

dont mean to be rude or intrude, alone I want you nude/ raw & real, sensitive to how I feel/ how I want to repair any damage, tear or wear/ peace the pieces, ravish you but not damage you/caught in your world wind, we won't let this world win/eradicate this worlds' sin, we created this world we in/Im hummin with you hear me? I too want you near me/ two worn souls with warm holds, you moistened my warm hole/ don't mean to be crude, want your body & soul nude

ain't nothin rude. we could continue this delicate fude/interesting fuug how I protruded into you/ you into me/we finally see...all we were meant to be/why won't you come to me/you set my spirit free/want you to see/all you expected resurrected/full erection/offer you protection/life's direction/we only sections of the same whole/same soul/won flow/we let our ethereal grow.

about to lay in my bed. feel free too call me. You have been the shining moment of my entire day. sway! fitness. I see we in this to win it! looking forward to the grinning that comes at the end of making love/you're the one I'm dreaming of! Truth spoken.