Imperfect

I wasn't born a humble person. I never have had any patience to speak of. I can be condescending & demeaning without realizing it till it is stinging on the way out of my mouth. I have fought demons of lust since I was eleven.

I am very forgiving. I see the light in people over their darkness. I give all of myself that I can to make others more comfortable. I am good at listening, understanding and finding peace. I am strong and hard working. I am honest, and honorable.

I am a work in progress.

I fast for many days at a time, and I humble myself in the eyes of the Divine and ask for guidance. Mercy. Ascension.

I can be very hard on myself, while I find it easy to allow others to stand in their imperfection, perfectly beautiful to me all the while.

I place a lot of effort into being healthy, finding and maintaining balance, into getting a little better every day.

I am taking a vow of abstinence so that I might focus that wellspring of energy into my personal evolution. Just as I fast from foods, I feel I need to prove to myself that I am capable of this. I have come a long way on my quest to heal myself from my fault lines. I have many more miles to go.

I am sharing with you all these things for the honesty of it. For the challenge of keeping my word which is so important to me. To level with people who know me so well, and love me a lot. I am ready for all of this.

I want love like this.

Someone I love very much was the last person who kissed my lips. I am in a delicate spot in my life. A moment of make or break. A challenge has arisen. I believe in me. I am capable.

I am utterly grateful for all the amazing people I have in my life. The people that like me, are marching along this road: personal spiritual evolution. In the days ahead, I know there will be many challenges. I am determined to rise above this weakness in my life.

Furthermore, I am looking forward to permanent love. Forever love. Children. Family. First, I must honor my committment to me.

Thank you all. Walk with me. One mile. Each moment. Life changes.

Together, we can.