I am honored to say that I have had some of the most brilliant love on the planet! I have never had a bad relationship and I have learned something (or many things) important from each love in my life. I know that as individuals we have individual preferences, but the answer to a very important problem has alluded me for some time now.
I want to take some time to discuss orgasms.
Almost every time a male engages in sexual play, he has an orgasm. I wish the same could be said of women.
There are, of course, many layers to this dilemma. I have met women who didn't even know how to bring themselves to orgasm. There are men who are selfish and only care about their own orgasm. There are women who don't know how to voice what they need. And the combinations continue indefinitely.
Nicki Minaj was recently quoted on the cover of Cosmopolitan saying, "I demand an orgasm every time". Although I don't think I would take it to that extreme, I have been with beautiful men for years that have yet to give me an orgasm and I have been with men who were more concerned with my orgasm than theirs.
I love giving and receiving pleasure. I really enjoy when a man (or woman) goes down on me. I can bring myself to orgasm quite quickly and those who have cared to learn the intricacies of my body have been able to do the same. I rarely have orgasms from penetration, and really feel that I deserve to have orgasms just as much as my partner.
I realize that it is not as obvious when a woman experiences an orgasm as when a man does, but I do think that partners should concern themselves with the enjoyment level of the one they are trying to please.
Recently I was talking about this subject with a black, male friend of mine. he asked me if the ones who went down on me willingly were black or white. Those of you that know me well know that I have only dated black men for the last several years of my life. I was married to a Native American, engaged to a Jew and I started thinking about it.
I would like to start an intelligent, grown up dialogue about the subject of orgasms and going down on a woman. The men who have never gone down on me have received the favor countless times.
Do black men go down on their women less than white men? Did black men go down on me less because I was white?
I know there are some men who just don't like going down and some women who feel the same way.
Most of my female lovers have ensured that I had orgasms on a very regular basis. I cannot say the same for the men.
I have enjoyed each of the important men and women in my life. If a someone doesn't like going down, there is not much to change that. I just feel like if I have to bring myself to orgasm later on, that I was missing out on something. Am I wrong for feeling that way?
What do you ladies and gents have to say?
You're definitely not wrong about feeling as if you missed out on something if you have to.. conclude the issue later.
ReplyDeleteI often feel the same, as if I was cheated or shorted somehow.
I found your comparisons and queries super interesting. I've often wondered the same.
And more, on a different level. Lets talk emotional circumstances, for example. I really feel like some women, myself included, are incapable of enjoying an orgasm if I'm depressed. Which is a big issue for me, and many women I know. However, it isn't as visible in men, so I wonder if this affects them in the same way.