Six Miles!

I recently discovered it is six miles from my apartment to the Ocean. I want to tell you I am glad She was so close last night. I have traversed through much pain the last several days due to a situation that should have never existed.

Because I love this person who hurt me so much I would like to elude the exact details and rather share some of the thoughts that surround the situation instead.

First of all I feel that we as a society have come backward in many regards. The eye to eye contact. The honest communication. The general respect. The courtesies of yesteryear have all but disappeared. It is becoming less and less common to retain personal honor. To honor commitment. To commit to relationships of all sort. To sort through our emotions. To emote empathy for others feelings. To feel our way through a situation adequately. To live up to our potential as spiritual beings.

I am a giver by nature. A healer. A nurturer. I believe in the ethereal and eternal nature of love. Love is a truth that continues after romance fades. I am thus friends with most of my past romances. I do not see anything unhealthy about this. What I do see unhealthy in myself is constantly giving to people who will not reciprocate. Expending my own funds to do so. Allowing my tender heart to be abused time after time after time.

I am by no means perfect. I am however extremely aware of where my fault lines lay and I am a constant evolving work in progress. It troubles me that our society in general has fallen away from, "Know Thyself" and rather lives by imagery instead. We have begun to thrive on appearances. To lie our way through daily lives. To tell ourselves stories to satiate what is really taking place.

Where does this leave our tomorrow? We are in trouble all over the place and instead of facing the demon head on, we are placating ourselves with small fixes. I want to see bright and brilliant change. I want to be a part of the forward momentum.

Please do not get me wrong I also know there are still those of us who love for real, who speak the truth, who know our inner workings, who seek higher awareness, who reciprocate, who thirst for knowledge, who genuinely want to effect change.

We are at a cosmic precipice. We are at the dawning of a brand new age. We are at a crossroads of stellar proportions. I encourage all of us to rise above what we were yesterday. Embrace where we have come from and morph into something more brilliant than we were just seconds prior.

I could sit down with those who refuse to try. I could lay on the floor screaming, "Why Me?" I could writhe in my pain and allow the people I love so much who are not seeking evolution to continue to harm my genuine Spirit. I could point my middle finger in the air. Fault the broken system, and quit. I refuse to give up!

I will not be broken. I will not be beaten. I was told by one of my inner circle that I have the biggest heart he has ever seen. He told me that my capacity for love amazed him. He also told me that I allow myself to empathetically connect with people at such an intimate level that once I realize the ones who are not of the same caliber as I desire to be, it is near impossible for me to separate from them. I see his point.

I have been working intently the last few months at becoming an island. A temple sacred unto myself. I envision the ocean around me being the essence of the divine that separates me from those that would try to drink more than their fair share of my life forces.

One can only take from me what I allow. I am just not sure how to segregate yet.

I believe in love, pure and divine. I believe in truth straight from the vine. I believe in soil so rich we can grow. I believe in reciprocal flow. But unless all or most of us do, it is a lonely world out there.

I have hope. I see those who are ready to revive our society. I believe in the destiny that lead me to this place. I honor my heart and seek only to become stronger, wiser, more honest, more aware, more evolved than I was two seconds ago.

I hope that my light inspire others to be the very best that they have to offer. I would like to believe that there is someone out there who is not going to break my heart. I would like to hope that there will come a day I might give birth to my first born child. I want this dream. I am saddened by the stock of human culture that swirls around me daily. I am discouraged by the last couple months of being hurt by a couple of my closest friends to extents that have shocked my system.

Be careful what you wish for...I know! I recently had meditated and called for a cleansing: I asked that all those that were not dedicated to world change, and personal evolution as was I, would be removed from me. I want to resonate at higher levels. I want to reverberate across the globe. I want all of you who are seeking truth to know, WE ARE NOT ALONE!

I never knew how many the Universe would need to take away. I love so deeply. It has been a lot of pain. I am truly learning to stand on my own. I am in a place I have never been. The depths of it excite and frighten me. I see the water far below. The precipice has arrived. I am ready to spread my wings and fly.

Growing pains!
Six miles to the Ocean I go.
Lay at her feet pain only She knows.
Six miles and I am not the same.
Six miles and I will be back home again.
Dark are the waters and they run so deep.
Tall is the precipice and I am afraid to reach
The height of my potential is crying out to me.
Six miles of beach as I walk Sunset shore.
Six miles Though I feel I could walk much more.
Time is of the essence
May we never fade
Burn out or turn our back on Fate.
Why wait for tomorrow what can be done today?
The Sun is setting and it is getting late.
Six miles to the Ocean and I am running now.
Six miles to the Ocean just to figure out.
Why all the love I had to offer was just not enough.
Six miles to the Ocean and I drink it up.
I am wasted and wandering dead in my Fear.
Six miles to the Ocean and She draws me near.
My music is blaring yet she whispers in my ear.
Six miles to the Ocean.
I called you here.