Even among cohorts with similar backgrounds, parallel vocabularies, common visions, communication can often become a challenge. Sometimes, I feel the more knowledge we gain, the harder true communication may become. Life Malcolm recently told me that he would rather speak slowly and place the weight of each word correctly than mesmerize someone with the speed of his lyricism and be misunderstood. He really impressed upon me this goal of choosing my words as carefully as possible. I have been going through several situations that have made me face this same lesson. People are never going to see us the way we see ourselves but any leader or public figure must be cautious about their image. I have been thinking about what I appear to be to those around me. I hear feedback constantly since my destiny has placed me on stage, with a mic, in the public eye.
Our beliefs, our history, our experience, our temperament, our spiritual posture, our psychological state, our vocabulary, our culture, (and the list goes on) all factor in to how we perceive the world around us, how we interpret the diction of those we engage in conversation, how we digest the media, and how we impact those lives we come in contact with.
Many years ago I read and later re-read "The Celestine Prophecy" by James Redfield. It was a well-written book regarding synchronicity in life and paying attention to the messages we receive. It also spoke of things such as energy in conversation. Most of us know that a large portion of our population only are silent when waiting to speak. This is not to be confused with active listening. Energy in a conversation has transference. It shifts and flows with the spiritual energy of the conversation and the next person should feel their moment to speak. Each participant in a conversation (as reinforced by my studies in Psychology) should listen actively, present only pertinent information to the flow of the conversation and wait for their turn to speak. This action of active listening truly allows the connectivity between our souls to flourish causing all engaged by the conversation to walk way energized and fresh!
Although my thoughts may find a moment of fluid and eloquent delivery, what are the several people listening to my words making of my speech?
I tend to take up a lot of space. My inner circle is patient because they know my heart is pure in its approach. I have this exuberant passion for my life and have so many brilliant stories to share. I often end up feeling selfish when I haven't seen one of my soul-mates in a while and fill up the conversation with my voice. I am very sensitive to this aspect of my presence.
Lately, one of the souls closest to my own has been really lashing out at me. Most of you know I am pretty gentle until antagonized and am very volatile when provoked. I try to never speak words I will regret. I try to fill my speech with love focusing on the exponential potential of every being I converse with. From my perspective, we all have darkness and light within our souls. It works as a sort of alchemy. A yin-yang. An obstacle and overcome process. We all have the moment by moment decision to proceed in whichever direction we choose.
A lot of my recent experiences have led me to really challenge myself to my next level of communication. I am really focusing on those statistics we learned in Sociology. 55% of your communication is body language. 38% tone of voice. Only 7% is related to the actual words you are speaking. It is incredible to me as a lyricist and oracle that my words hold such a small percentage within the construct of communication. I am striving forward. I know that I have an intensity, a caustic edge, a sharp tongue, and condescending way about me at times. I am ever working on becoming more gentle, more loving, more careful with my tone and my posture.
I was told recently that I "was lost" that I "didn't know who I was without all my 'soulmates' to reflect in". I was told that I "was selfish". I was told I had a "bunch of lame friends". I was told that "all my past relationship were messed up situations". I was told many things I am trying to render considering the source.
I assure you I know who I am, where I am going and why I am here. I believe myself to be exactly where I am meant to be at this moment in time. I believe that I offer the best of myself in order to move forward in my path and honor the calling of my destiny. I do not believe myself to be perfect or more important than any one else. I do believe that I am and will continue to be a leader in this dawning of new thought, new culture that is rapidly growing in exponential waves across this globe. I am grateful for every relationship I have ever had, and though yes, I have made mistakes, I do not regret any love I have ever held in these two hands. I am a teacher, sure. Those of you that know me best also know that I am a student of the Universe first. I am constantly striving for the mark, pressing forward, encouraging myself and others to be the best we can be.
I am honored to be surrounded by some of the most amazing people in the world. I have so many souls dear to mine on this planet. Love is eternal. Lust is fleeting. The reason I am close with most of what others would call ex's is because I LOVE them. Each love I have ever fostered in this sacred breast has led me to the next stage of development in my spiritual existence. I could not be the woman I am without any of them. I know that is hard for current friends and loves to understand about me. I get that. I cannot apologize for who I am . I am proud of me. I am excited to see the woman I will become.
To all of you who are in my inner circle, I thank you. For allowing me the space to be me. For breathing new life and love into me every day. For supporting me in every way. For holding me against the pain. For showing me the courage to rise again like a Phoenix from the flame.
Yes, I tattooed this Agape across my chest for Agape Armageddon Towns. I wanted the world according to that courtroom to see where my loyalty stood. I wanted our Rochester Community to realize that no matter what one of us does, we were meant to stick together. Love in the Agape sense of the word can overcome all things. It is courageous and never dies! It loves someone "as is" while encouraging them to be the best version of themselves. The word has sunk deep into my breast-bone. It has sparked many conversations. It has become more than just his name. I love Agape with Agape love and that very love has become me. I grow into this tattoo a little more daily. The response of the general public (and the response of my inner circle) to this tattoo could be a remarkable social experiment. I should begin documentation and actually do intend to write a book (with Agape's collaboration) "The Letters Across my Chest". It has been significant.
Love is eternal. Love is kind. Love is not blind, but it does allow space for growth. Love has no human parameters. Love appears in many different formats: Brotherly love (Philos/Philadelphia). Maternal love. Paternal love. Lust (Eros). Agape (unconditional love).
I was recently told that I could keep my god(s) of mystery. I need to clarify. I don't believe in God in the sense of an almighty, all-powerful being in the sky watching over us in the Christian sense. I also do not offer anything other than respect for another person's belief system. I see "God" as an energy that runs through all living things. This life force has the power to create, destroy, love, hate, move, stagnate, and is far beyond our realm of complete comprehension. It is the wind in the trees and the trees itself. It is the Sun and the Moon. The Rivers and the Ocean. The birth of a child and the murder of a friend. I see "God" as the Great Mystery. By this I mean that I do not pretend to know everything. I believe I am a part of the Divine Essence along with every other living thing. I do not pretend to be God. I have respect for Mother Nature and the laws of physics. I strive to become more tapped into this source every day. I listen to the wind, I work on my flaws. I follow the course of my soul. You all know I love the principle of Taoism, Wu Wei. To become and flow like water. I am a Pisces and my name is Rain! In ancient and mystic Judaism, the Tanakh offers very clearly that a name for the Divine should not be offered or spoken. It was a communion only the individual soul could render. The idea was that our human comprehension was no match for the infinite realm of the eternal life source. The name was not meant to be uttered. The soul was meant to communicate in humble relativity to our part in this intricate play. To me that makes a lot of sense. Once you label the Force that runs within us all God, Allah, Yahweh or any other black and white name, it limits the perception of the unexplainable into the realm of our human definitions. I prefer to believe that while I learn more daily, there are aspects of this universe I will never understand.
I was accused of being an atheist recently, and it really shocked me. I feel that my daily diction offers evidence that I do believe we are all connected to not only a life source but to one another as well. I feel that as far as we have come on allowing others to express their beliefs, we still have a long way to go toward understanding one another. That is my grandest vision and within the four walls of Cadence House I will begin my center. I wish to allow all ethnicities, cultures, sexual preferences, belief systems, education and income levels to enter in order to harmonize with others seeking to reach their highest potential. This is my life's work.
Again, I thank you all for allowing me my soap box, for supporting my education, for standing beside me and striving to reach our highest self. March on. The road is long and the body tired, but the spirit is ever ready to press forward.
It is our time to rise.
~RAin.
No comments:
Post a Comment